The last week I’ve been thinking about my inner critic, prompted in part by Tara Sophia Mohr’s blogpost and by her description of her own inner critic piping up in the Global Niche conversation of last Friday night.
My own inner critic is pretty close to a realistic thinker. At times it is a little too realistic and needs to lighten up and have some fun every now and again.
What I have to look out for is my inner begrudger…
My inner begrudger is a right pain. It is the voice that runs down every single aspect of anything I’ve done and at times even of who I am. There is nothing positive about it at all.
Begrudgery is a very Irish trait, though I’ve seen a little of it in Turkey too. Instead of celebrating the achievements of others, the begrudger pulls them down. The begrudger hates anyone getting ‘above their station’, their station being defined as the narrow rut the begrudger him/herself occupies. So celebrities, actors, singers are all easy prey to the begrudger, but they also prey on a local scale, the boy-next-door success story, the locals who band together for their community. It is, in short, a form of jealousy. There are those who see begrudgery as merely a blunt statement of the truth, but that is debatable.
In the case of my inner begrudger, it blows things out of proportion and messes with my perceptions. And it jumped into overdrive when I was listed on the Top 10 Expat and Travel Posts on Spiritual Escapes by The Displaced Nation last week. My initial delight was nearly drowned in a wave of ‘So what’s.
Sure you only threw a few words on a webpage
Not a mention of the care and thought that went into choosing what words and what order, or of the work that went into the website either.
So a few people read it, so what?
Read it and appreciated it and took something away from it. That’s why I blog, that’s why I write. That is THE POINT.
Sure there’s millions out there doing exactly the same
But only 10 made that list. That is an achievement. I should celebrate it!
It’ll give you a big head, and you’ll be mouthing off to everyone about it next
It won’t give me a big head unless I let it. And as for mouthing off – that is exactly what I should do!
There, I said it. I should stand proud of what I did and acknowledge it and shout it from the hills. Serendipitiously a tweet by my friend Frieda Klotz confirms this is what I should be doing. She sent a link to a post by Clay Sharky from two years ago where he sees this lack of speaking up as a feminine trait and one that should be cast aside.
So here’s to speaking up about what you have done and not being afraid to grab any opportunity, even if you have to beat down your inner begrudger to do so.