Censorship

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Yazarc

There are lots of things about Turkey and censorship that deserve attention. We could talk about the internet filters that not only catch porn but also some Darwinian websites. We could talk about journalists who write books about shadowy organisations, only to then be arrested on suspicion of being in said shadowy organisation. We could talk about journalists being arrested for not-entirely-clear reasons but possibly to do with their ethnic background. We could talk about the “mahalle baskisi”, the local pressure to conform, and how it stifles free debate and exchange of ideas. We could talk about the newspapers and how some are pro-government and some are not, but none will print a contrary view to that of the editor or owner.

But we won’t talk about any of that, we’ll talk about television.

I first noticed it with cigarettes. I’m not sure when but they disappeared off our tv screens, generally replaced with a fuzzy patch. It was funny to see suave characters with smoke trailing from fuzzy patches. It didn’t always add to the atmosphere of the programme I’ll admit. Still CNBC-E had the best idea with their cartoon flower solution. (In an excellent piece of marketing you can now buy the censor flowers to disguise your own smoking!)

Charlie does love his flowers, eh, I mean cigars...

So a while after that I noticed that cigarettes weren’t the only things that disappeared, alcoholic drinks had vanished too. Again the credibility was stretched as we watched our downtrodden hero prop up the bar with a fuzzy drink to match his fuzzy cigarette.

Then last week while watching 48 Hours Eddie Murphy walked into a nude bar and was completely surrounded by fuzz. The women’s heads were the only things unobscured. Now my memory of 48 Hours was that there wasn’t really a huge amount on show anyway but all those fuzz patches got me fierce curious altogether.

Then once the shooting started the fuzz increased again. No gunshot wounds, no bleeding, no gore, just a shot and some fuzz. Last nights Steven Seagal movie ended in a fuzz of pink.

So cigarettes, alcohol, nudity and gore all banned from viewing on Turkish television. This was evening time and the kids had been sent to bed well in accordance with Metin Akpinar and Ibrahim Kutluay’s admonishments that 9.30 was time for bed. The movies had all started with the symbols telling us what to expect and what age it was suitable for. But still the television governing body RTUK decided that they knew better.

My final example is most worrying. A married couple reunited after a day of strife and worry run towards each other, relief visible, speeding up as they get closer and then snip.

They stand beside each other, no kiss, no hug.

No, that would be to give the little children a bad example, it could affect their spiritual development to witness affection between two married television characters.

It’s heating up the water slowly so the frog is boiled before he realises.

 

Categories: Being Myself, Being Turkish, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

The Tree

What I am not...
Posted on January 23, 2012 by Yazarc

I’m not sure if I’ve found my true reflection in the world yet, but I can definitely say it isn’t a tree. The image of the tree that is you, with each ring a layer of your story is wonderful and uplifting but it is too fixed for me. My story is portable.

My roots are shallow. I left my homeland for another and though settled where I am now, I really can’t say what the future will bring. Our family could uproot at any time and settle elsewhere. We would take everything of value in our hearts and minds.

So what would my reflection be?

The wind perhaps. A very apt idea for the place I currently live. It’s ephemeral and yet powerful. It’s everywhere, it can erode, transport and deposit. It shifts water and sand and can even in the right circumstances grind rocks to dust.

Is it a reflection of me or a metaphor for how I feel at times; buffeted, uplifted, bowed?

Week 3 of A Year With Myself

What I am not...

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F**k the Begrudger

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Yazarc

The last week I’ve been thinking about my inner critic, prompted in part by Tara Sophia Mohr’s blogpost and by her description of her own inner critic piping up in the Global Niche conversation of last Friday night.

My own inner critic is pretty close to a realistic thinker. At times it is a little too realistic and needs to lighten up and have some fun every now and again.

What I have to look out for is my inner begrudger…

My inner begrudger is a right pain. It is the voice that runs down every single aspect of anything I’ve done and at times even of who I am. There is nothing positive about it at all.

Begrudgery is a very Irish trait, though I’ve seen a little of it in Turkey too. Instead of celebrating the achievements of others, the begrudger pulls them down. The begrudger hates anyone getting ‘above their station’, their station being defined as the narrow rut the begrudger him/herself occupies. So celebrities, actors, singers are all easy prey to the begrudger, but they also prey on a local scale, the boy-next-door success story, the locals who band together for their community. It is, in short, a form of jealousy. There are those who see begrudgery as merely a blunt statement of the truth, but that is debatable.

"So that's Europe over there! What's Europe anyway? A continent shaped by the incredible forces of geology and tectonics, ah come on, it's only a bit of land" sez the begrudger

In the case of my inner begrudger, it blows things out of proportion and messes with my perceptions. And it jumped into overdrive when I was listed on the Top 10 Expat and Travel Posts on Spiritual Escapes by The Displaced Nation last week. My initial delight was nearly drowned in a wave of ‘So what’s.

Sure you only threw a few words on a webpage

Not a mention of the care and thought that went into choosing what words and what order, or of the work that went into the website either.

So a few people read it, so what?

Read it and appreciated it and took something away from it. That’s why I blog, that’s why I write. That is THE POINT.

Sure there’s millions out there doing exactly the same

But only 10 made that list. That is an achievement. I should celebrate it!

It’ll give you a big head, and you’ll be mouthing off to everyone about it next

It won’t give me a big head unless I let it. And as for mouthing off – that is exactly what I should do!

There, I said it. I should stand proud of what I did and acknowledge it and shout it from the hills. Serendipitiously a tweet by my friend Frieda Klotz confirms this is what I should be doing. She sent a link to a post by Clay Sharky from two years ago where he sees this lack of speaking up as a feminine trait and one that should be cast aside.

So here’s to speaking up about what you have done and not being afraid to grab any opportunity, even if you have to beat down your inner begrudger to do so.

Categories: Being a Writer, Being Myself, Uncategorized | Tags: , , | 2 Comments

The Compass

The Compass
Posted on January 11, 2012 by Yazarc

This is inspired by week two of A Year With Myself. Leonie Dawson asks have we found our soul’s compass yet.

Once upon a time I had a compass. It looked like this.

It was a tool, a geologists compass. Not only did it help to locate me, it also allowed me to make maps, to reveal features that the eye couldn’t see in the landscape. It helped illuminate the enormous forces that shaped whatever piece of land I was on (or in). I was amazed by it, but also a little overwhelmed.

And in a very uncharacteristic way I dropped out of that life and into another.

Now in some ways I am more sure than ever of what my compass points. It has three arms that point to my family, noting their whereabouts, plotting their  course and anticipating their needs.

But that points to others and not to me.

That is a tricky one. Between worlds and cultures, isolated by location, I’m not quite sure what I revolve around. As a result my course is erratic, a series of projects started but not finished, an ambition that has yet to find it’s focus, a procrastinator in a sea of excuses.

What would the 80-year-old me say? I hope she’d be consoling, tell me to be patient, to keep trying, to finish. I think that would be goddess-like, take the time to find your strengths then let them loose. Don’t rush in, time will tell.

This is a year of experiment so expect to see some unexpected avenues explored and some dead-ends too.  Don’t be afraid to comment, any input is gratefully received.

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Branching Out

Let me at it!
Posted on January 6, 2012 by Yazarc

Many, many years ago, I was perhaps 9, I was amazed to find that our Saturday morning was disrupted by the arrival of a piano. I remember standing by the front door watching people carefully carry it into the house. I can’t remember who moved it or how, but there it was in our front room, where previously it had occupied my grandparent’s front room. It was magical, before we’d only been able to pick away when we visited my grandparents (and they were happy to put up with our efforts) now we could do it anytime we wanted.

It increased the rivalry with the neighbours too, their piano was also in the front room, against the common wall of our semi-detached house. Their older children could beat us hands down at proper playing but we could match the younger ones for volume!

That piano is still in my parent’s front room and it entranced the Brown-eyed Girl when we were there over the summer. With a bit of help she picked out ‘Doe a Deer’ and ‘Will you Wash my Father’s shirt’ and was even more delighted when there was a piano in the house in Kerry too. Little Boy Blue was a little more reserved in his interest.

So you can imagine the excitement on Christmas morning when a digital piano arrived…

But the truth is the kids were not nearly as excited as I was. For the last decade my piano-playing has been limited to the few minutes I could grab while on visits home. It was usually brief and depressing. But here’s my chance to practice, to get back into it again.

I’m falling into old habits though, too tied to the dots on the page and not experimenting enough. I got to Grade 4 in my piano exams and in the end could play nothing other then exam pieces.

Now’s my chance to right that, to learn and play for pure enjoyment.

Fur Elise and The Entertainer are once again battering the ears of those around me. Let’s see whether letting myself loose at the piano keyboard helps release my flow on the computer keyboard too.

Has creativity in one area ever led to increased productivity in other areas for you?

Categories: Being Irish, Being Myself | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

The Threshold

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Yazarc

Just as I was pondering how to give myself the kick in the ass I need to get blogging again, I stumbled across this idea of A Year With Myself. Well, sez I, there’s the kick I need. So the plan is to participate while also getting on with the other things I’m planning.

The way I see it the threshold is a little like the frost on the flowers, it can be deadly and paralysing but with a little patience it can melt away to nothing, leaving you wondering what the barrier was in the first place.

So here I am at the threshold.

Am I between the bars as Patti Digh says, most definitely. It is a fact of life for any expat that we are between many things. That aspects of ourselves are split and reflected and refracted by our dual (or more) hybridity. It can be unsettling and I’ve allowed it to take over in the last while. This has been a result of the passage of many anniversaries in the last few months, a decade in Turkey, of marriage, birthdays of growing children, changes in the lives of those I care about. It’s led me to passivity, thinking, thinking but not doing. Now is the time for action.

But first I need to be where I am, as Jen Louden says I should be. I need to acknowledge my many facets, rejoice in them and begin again. That also means acknowledging my imperfections and the many things I can’t control. It means saying no to fear and excuses and just doing it.

Somehow the gently learning approach that CA Kobu and the Year with Myself advocates seems to meet headlong with the brashness of terribleminds, but instead of a collision there is a melding. I need to be tough with myself this year, to be honest; I also need to be gentle and forgiving.

Here’s to 2012 being a productive year!

Categories: Being a Writer, Being Myself | Tags: , , , , | 7 Comments

Storms

Posted on June 27, 2011 by Yazarc

It’s been a busy few weeks so here’s a few snippets to enjoy while I play catch-up, both courtesy of the Guardian in the last week.

Robert Curzon, traveller and diplomat, hit rough seas as he tried to sail to Lemnos through the Dardanelles as excepted from his book ‘Visits to the Monasteries in the Levant’ (1849) in Weatherwatch. It’s appropriate for the windstorm we’re experiencing at the moment, though thankfully it’s blown away any clouds and leaving a bright blue sky. I wonder if where the bay he mentioned might be, further up the straits or here near Guzelyali, where there is a wide bay?

Keeping with the literary theme, Poem of the Week featured ‘Hero and Leander’ by Christopher Marlowe. Hero was a young priestess from the Temple of Venus in Sestos, north of Eceabat on the European side of the Hellespont (see map), while Leander was a young man from Abydos, on the Asian side near present-day Canakkale.  They meet, fall in love and Hero lights a lamp in her tower to guide Leander’s nightly swim across the straits. Once again a storm rises one winter night, blowing out the lamp and leaving Leander to the mercy of the straits. Hero on learning of his drowning throws herself from the tower. Marlowe’s telling is strong and imaginative, the sensuality in the Guardian extract is palpable.

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Finally, a plan…

Posted on June 1, 2011 by Yazarc

There has long been talk about constructing a museum near the site of Troy, something that is sorely needed. There are very few artifacts to be seen at the site, and only a few in Canakkale Archeology Museum (which few tours visit), which leaves some of the most interesting things out of view of the visitor.

The Skaian Gate by Catherine Yiğit

There also needs to be an attempt made to explain the importance of the site, both archeologically and in terms of global culture; a framework so that visitors can see past the piles of stones and visualise just how important this site is. A good guide helps, of course, but space is needed for those of us who want to learn at our own pace.

My solution is simple, we get the Irish OPW, famed for building interpretative centres in the 80′s and 90′s, in to do the job. You’ll get a brand new centre, museum, audio-visual room, bookshop/souvenir shop and the always necessary restaurant. The souvenirs will be tasteful, not the cheap tat available at the moment. You may even consider giving them as presents. The bookshop will be full of information not just about Troy, but about the local area and other sites in Turkey.  The atmosphere will be friendly and helpful and the staff with be knowledgeable.

You may claim I’m looking for too much.

But the OPW built dozens of the things around Ireland, including the Ceide Fields visitor centre. The Ceide Fields are the earliest known evidence of farming in Ireland, a field system on the north coast of Mayo in the west of Ireland. There is a slight drawback to visiting them. They are covered in bog, marked out with bamboo poles.

It doesn’t sound exciting, now does it?

But if you’re ever in the area I encourage you to visit because the centre there explains the importance of the site, puts it in context and leaves you racing out to see the bamboo poles. There’s also spectacular cliffs across the road, and a great view from the top of the centre.

This is how it should be done…

So you can imagine that I’m happy to hear that a plan has been selected for a museum near the entrance gate at Troy. The plan was selected from a competition and the winning entry is by a team led by Selcuk Baz, picked by a selection of archeologists, town planners, Ministry of Tourism officials, and architects (among others).

I don’t know what the new plan looks like but if you’re in Ankara between now and June 6th the top entries are on show in the Ataturk Cultural Centre. There’ll be a colloquium held on the 6th of June at 6pm.

Categories: Hidden Footprints, Present | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Where in the world…

Posted on May 5, 2011 by Yazarc

I have a confession to make – I love maps. They are such wonderful, infomative things that I can spend hours searching over them, learning them, knowing them. They help make sense of the world.

Some maps are worrying such as this one by Freedom House, showing how low Turkey is on the world scale of press freedom. With a rating of Partly Free, Turkey is on a par with Mongolia, India and Nigeria. Add that to talk of censoring internet access even further and we could end up rated with China, Libya or Syria if we aren’t careful.

Maps can be personal, giving insight into our place in the world, mapping our imagination.

This is my map. It looks plain and clear at the moment, but that’s not a true representation of reality. Maps are notoriously deceptive, they allow us to pick and choose what to depict, what to share.

I live just south of Çanakkale on this map and I’m hoping to take you along as I fill this map in with memories and history and pictures and life.

Troy is highlighted because much as some people want to think the town of Çanakkale is the attraction here, it’s not. Troy was the first place of pilgrimage for three millenia of travellers and it continues to be so. Gallipolli has joined that pilgrimage route in the last hundred years.

Most travellers pass through, possibly breaking their journey in Çanakkale, more often driving on to Istanbul or Izmir. I can’t say I blame them, there are many things to see here, but most of them need a car to get to and are small sites with little information supplied, not suitable for busloads of snap-happy tourists.

But just because they are hidden, shrouded by the amnesia of history, does not diminish their importance. People who came before have left their traces too, hidden footprints that require effort to find.

So here’s to Hidden Footprints and opening our eyes to really see the place we live in.

Categories: Hidden Footprints, Places | 1 Comment

United in Fear

Posted on January 18, 2011 by Yazarc

I had never heard of Gabrielle Giffords until her name appeared below a breaking news headline on Saturday 8th January. I didn’t know she was a member of the US congress, what party she represented, whether she was liked, good at her job, or known nationally within the States.

But I was shocked by the images, people crying, chaos,panic, paramedics rushing towards helicopters.

Six people died, one only a child, fourteen injured, while Giffords still fights in a hospital bed.

A lone gunman and lethal intent changed the lives of many.

In the ten days since I have seen something I recognised – fear. With fear comes blame, a natural human reaction that often masks our fear so well we never have to acknowledge it. Blame is the great distraction and has been very busy, even in this case where the gunman is known and under arrest. Blame the opposition party, another candidates tactics, the right-wing media, the mental health system, blame the sheriff’s office, blame. And blame sometimes makes change happen and lets us feel a little better. We can see a result of our anger and relax, thinking we have lessened our vulnerability.

In the ten years since I lived in the US many, many things have changed. The ‘Other’ has been demonized, whether a mild-mannered, dark-skinned young man or someone wearing clothes that signify their religious beliefs or someone who thinks differently. These obvious targets have been easy to spot and easy to alienate to isolate their differences.

But this time someone like the boy next door pulled the trigger. Disturbed, yes, with a history of erratic behaviour and problems, but someone you’d walk by in the supermarket without a glance. Someone not initially recognizable as a threat. That is what we fear most, the unknowable violence that may exist in the heart and mind of anyone in our environment. And ironically fear is what unites all who pursue and demean those different to themselves.

Before we can deal with our fear, we need to accept our vulnerability.

We need to acknowledge that our blame should not light on easy or obvious scapegoats and that it is a distraction from hard and complicated issues, and processes that need to change. We need to acknowledge that fearing the unknown and the different narrows our views and our minds. There is no easy solution to prevent tragedies like this from happening again, but one thing is certain we cannot let fear overwhelm our desire to live.

We cannot let it prevent us from standing up for what we believe, from doing good for others, from letting ourselves be seen.

A HYBRID AMBASSADORS blog-ring project.
 

You met our multinational Dialogue 2010 cultural innovators last spring in a roundtable discussion of hybrid life at expat+HAREM and followed their reactions to a polarizing book promotion. In this round they offer their thoughts on the recent shooting incident in Tucson, Arizona.

Add your voice to the conversation. Join the discussi online prescription drugs on on Twitter using #HybridAmbassadors.

More thoughts on this subject from my fellow hybrid ambassadors:
Tara Lutman Agacayak’s Enough
Catherine Bayar’s We the People
Elmira Bayraslı’s The Irresponsible Country
Sezin Koehler’s The Culture of Violence


Categories: Being Myself | Tags: , , , , , , | 7 Comments